Hello Good Morning/Afternoon and Evening everyone. Did you miss us? I knew it! We missed you too
Really glad to be back here bouncing around on the blog. Must say not particularly thrilled about being back in the harsh cold of England. Jamaica was much more welcoming weather wise! But it’s all good. I’m happy to come back to reality.
Right let’s get to it shall we..
Im sorry I really have no confessions as such (youll find Ask Patricias’ in Part Deux’) Mostly my general thoughts and feelings…
I am so happy that we had the absolutely beautiful Lady Emmy come on the show and discuss with us the matters of inner and outer beauty and how it correlates to our Self esteem. Whether it be high or low, how the view we have of ourselves ultimately affects our relationships with others.
Very relevant and necessary topic for all women to hear I’d say.
Personally this is one issue I find so helpful and something I honestly appreciate. If you know me well you will know I am a bit of a product junkie/beauty fanatic and PROUD of it! I seem to have so much and enjoy getting through it.
Of course we hear a lot that ‘Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder’ and all that jazz which is a very true, fair statement. However even though we admit that rule we still cannot take away from the fact that we are still constantly judged on our outward appearance. This seems to be all that matters. Why do we focus on the outward and disregard what’s really the most valuable – the inside character?!
Self Esteem. You either have a high or a low one in my opinion. There really is no middle ground. How you view yourself is of course going to affect how others will in turn view you. If you are a fan of the warpaint and the weave but inside is completely devoid of any real depth, I mean what is the point? Our society is vacuous enough. Strive to build your character and being the best YOU. Authenticity.
Lady Emmy described it best. ‘
Be your own measuring stick’.
Don’t let others define your value.
I love me some lashes and lipstick honey, i love how they can transform anyone’s look. Be that as it may, the make up doesn’t take away from the truest essence of myself, it only enhances what is essentially going on inside. Its a wonderful feeling to know my worth and surround myself with those who appreciate that. Makeup doesnt define my character but it sure does make me feel good particularly if i am having a good eyebrow day!
Its important to understand there is nothing wrong with taking care of your appearance, if in turn you are also nurturing the inner beauty of yourself. The Hair and Make up is a ‘quick fix’ for many women but no amount will ever be able to successfully compensate for defunct Self Esteem. Deal with this first. That will be lasting.
When the inner and the outer match up, you are good to go honey. Nobody can tell you anything! *Finger Snaps*
Anyways… that’s enough out of me. Listen to the show and hear what Lady Emmy has to say, let us know your thoughts and comments. We love hearing from you.
#Posing because #whynot
Dont be Shy, Say Hi 👋
All the time growing up I heard that the way we looked on the outside didn’t really matter when it came down to it and that it was a beautiful heart that counted. Further that a woman’s beauty should not come from the fancy adorning of her hair or wearing fine clothes or latest fashions but a beautiful spirit was the focus. In fact, even God Himself didn’t look at the outward appearance but on the heart.
I remember years ago seeing on the bathroom scales I wasn’t the usual 8 St 5lbs but 9.0 Stones instead; shock horror! I immediately decided I needed to go on a short term diet to drop those offending pounds, I couldn’t afford them at a mere 5ft.2ins. However on saying this to a friend of mine, her father overheard me, he was one of our church deacons, pointed out that I was very prideful! Really!
Well, I defended myself by saying I would rather lose a few pounds instead of allowing the excess to grow and become harder to deal with further down the road and have to lose several stones instead of several pounds. He wasn’t impressed.
I say all that because of the underlying premise that physical appearance and beauty should not be the number one concern.
If your heart and spirit are both beautiful and pleasing, what is so wrong with making sure the packaging is reflecting that too?
The main point surely is recognising that wearing the latest styles and having a beautifully made up face does not cover up or hide a shallow or mean personality. Outer beauty is skin deep but real beauty starts within and radiates from your essence. It can be felt and experienced.
(This week’s Ask Patricia Show features model and TV personality Lady Emmy who says beauty is an every day routine, attitude and experience. Listen in here….
So loving myself, respecting myself, valuing myself, is a good thing.
Now I must admit I thought I did all this. Love myself etc. but I see that subconsciously I had absorbed the conditioning on outer beauty not being the issue. I didn’t realise. But it’s true. I hardly ever give myself proper time to do my makeup. My daughter often looks at me in wonder and asks ‘Mum, what have you done’? And I’m thinking “what’s the problem”? I often have to get an eyebrow makeover instead of maintenance as I’ve been ‘too busy’ to sit in the salon when I had ‘things to do’!
Now to work on the outside. The outer me. The part of me people notice whether they know me or not. Whether they decide if they want to get to know me or not. But working on myself from a good place. Not hating myself because I’m carrying excess weight and have to diet. Not hating my body and working out because I need to punish my body in submission. No, it’s loving myself as I say no to another slice of cake. It’s loving myself as I get to the gym.
It’s respecting myself as I refuse to comfort eat and enjoy a massage instead. It’s valuing myself as I give myself time to shop for new clothes without being in too much of a rush to try them on first. It’s validating myself as I stop putting myself at the back of the queue, behind the housework, behind the work deadlines, behind the demands of family, behind the clamour of voices telling me how much I have to get done, and make myself a priority. Call it the airline rule.
So, ladies did you recognise yourself in there anywhere? Even slightly or just a bit?
Get to looking good. Get to looking beautiful. Give yourself permission to not only be beautiful but to maximise that beauty. To display that beauty. To enjoy that beauty. To make your part of the world a prettier place. To enjoy and play up your femininity. With class and style.
Hear this week’s Ask Patricia Show on every day beauty here:
In fact I’m not waiting for 2015 to start on the new beautiful (on the outside too) me. I’m starting now. Here’s what that looks like:-
1. Don’t compare myself to other women. Just shine as the best me with no apologies!
2. Stop telling myself I don’t have enough time to do my makeup properly. Make time. I’m worth it.
3. No more fitting in personal shopping with getting the family groceries! (Yes, I do that!) That’s hardly the best way of going about things is it? Carve out personal shopping time. Because yes I’m worth it.
4. Remember to get my eyebrows done every few weeks. Maintenance is usually a lot less painful than a complete overhaul. That threading can be painful if brows have gone wild!
5. Get a satin pillowcase. Very good for my precious hair. Which I’m taking back to natural. I love it. No more chemicals for my crowning glory. This is me!
6. Really cut back on the fried foods. I adore fried plantain for breakfast or lunch or dinner. Now, let’s try for ‘not so much’.
7. Don’t beat myself up if I don’t get to the gym 6 times a week. Try for 4. That can work. Especially with the ‘not so much’ plantain.
8. I don’t have to be that ‘all or nothing’ person anymore. Little and often really does it. So, Mondays-Fridays on point. Saturdays 70% will do. Sundays…easy like Sunday morning will do just fine. Get my life and live my life!
9. Wear sunscreen. I never use to think that as a woman of colour that was at all important. But my skin needs protecting too. Plus sunscreen promotes skin anti ageing, which is a good thing right!
10. Get enough beauty sleep so I can be sweet inside and out.
So these are my confessions. My beauty confessions! Do you have any? I surely can’t be the only one? Don’t leave me hanging ladies……..
Follow me at
@Ask_Patricia and @AskPatricia2000
Facebook at Ask Patricia
LinkedIn Patricia Benjamin
Instagram Ask Patricia