ask patricia, ask patricia 2000, chat show, danielle drama, David Harewood, does marriage last, Helen Croydon, in love, Marriage in decline, out of love, popularity of marriage, Screw the Fairy Tale, smelly socks, Young people and marriage
Patricia here. Hope you had fun listening to the show. Danielle and I definitely did.
It’s a huge subject matter which was hard to do justice with in just I hour but all the callers were fantastic and gave really good points. Thank you all for joining the conversation. I’ve still got a big silly smile on my face when I think of Jana who just got back from her honeymoon two days ago and was still literally glowing. We could just tell over the telephone! 😍
The show was full of good energy and good conversation. In fact so full I didn’t get a chance to make a couple points myself on my views on marriage. So here goes!
Well Danielle raised the question “does marriage matter, is it important?” after coming across Helen Croydon’s book Screw The Fairy Tale. Croydon says “why bother to commit to just one person? Why bother making a life long commitment to someone that you won’t keep? So just don’t do it if you can help it.”
I think she raises great points but I don’t share her conclusion. First of all Yes do screw the fairy tale. We have so many of us, particularly us girls, bought into hollywood’s “and they lived happily ever after” as said couple disappears off into the sunset. In fact there is no sunset. It’s real life. Someone has to wake up and smell the coffee. If you go into marriage with unreal and idealistic expectations you can only be disappointed. Why? Because the heady stage of being “in love” doesn’t last. And get this, it’s not supposed to! Being in love is a delicious form of madness. You can’t go on like that forever. But that said enjoy it. Revel it in. It’s wonderful. But when you come out of the “in love” stage is when true love or real love begins.
Loving someone despite their smelly socks (Sabira)!😄
More seriously, loving someone when they forget your birthday, when you face financial challenges, when one of you falls sick, when in-law pressures are negatively impacting the relationship, forgiving someone’s emotional or sexual infidelity, supporting someone throughout unemployment, raising a special needs child together, caring for an widowed mother or father-in-law, etc etc.
Still loving when you find your wonderful husband has feet of clay, doesn’t know everything, doesn’t get it right all the time, is losing his hair and gaining a paunch! Still loving him if he hasn’t bought you flowers lately or even a pot plant!
Still loving your beautiful wife when you discover she is no domestic goddess, no gourmet cook, no good at parking the car and keeps forgetting where she’s put her keys. Finding out her beauty owes a lot to the expensive hair salons she visits so often and the pregnancies and breast feeding have left her less firm and shapely than you remember. And the rest.
So yes screw the fairy tale but do marry if you’ve found the one you believe you want to do this thing they call life with. Together. The one you want to raise a family with. The one you want to make a commitment to, comes what may. The one you for whom you are prepared to put in the hard work that marriage requires. Believe me it’s work. I’ve had 30 yrs of marriage and can say that nothing good “just happens”. You both have to nurture and protect your marriage. Keep negativity and negative people away. Keep positivity, hope and faith as central. If you both share faith that’s even better.
So my view is, marriage is a great thing. For the individual. For the children and therefore society. Healthy, well-adjusted marriages produce healthy, well-adjusted families, which provides a healthy, well-adjusted society.
If the marriage isn’t healthy………well let me save that for another Show and another blog.
So what do you guys think? Does marriage matter? Let’s talk some more.
Hello again! Danielle Drama here!
As Patricia says we had quite a bit of fun on this show and again hope you did too 🙂
The question we raised of course, ‘Is Marriage necessary today?’ Bit of a beast right? Where do you even start? Is it? Is it not? Does it matter? Who really knows?
Speaking as a 26year old single female who fully intends to marry, I believe marriage is indeed necessary. I see it as the only way to go. I would like to have a family one of these days and I see no other alternative that would be better in which to do so. More over I see no alternative in which I would want to do so. I see that Marriage is no walk in the park or picnic but I also see how rewarding, delicate and strong it is by looking at the example of my own parents’ marriage. Its real. No fairytale here guys! Perhaps that’s the scary thing that is off-putting; its too real for some? I don’t know. What I do know is that come rain or shine I want to be united with my Husband to be able to bring children into a secure, stable, loving environment with the best possible guidance, care, love that a Mother and Father can offer in a healthy Marriage TOGETHER.
Marriage is important. A healthy marriage-even more so!
Spending the rest of my life with the one person I love shouldn’t be a daunting doubtful prospect if it is for you-give the ring back or don’t take it at all!
I plan to marry once only. I don’t have time for do-overs. Make it Count the first time. BE SURE.
Life has no guarantees all we can do is make decisions with the convictions placed in our hearts and honour them. After I say ‘I do’ let the good and bad times roll on because once I say those Vows I can’t take them back and I wouldn’t want to. Two is always better than one or none!
Bit of a rant guys but I think you get my gist. Marriage Is great. Let’s encourage it more. It can only benefit the relationship and create wonderful examples for children to learn from. I see a win win here so why not put a ring on it?
If you haven’t heard the show yet what are you waiting for? Link Above!!!
Please feel free to share and respond with comments and questions we’d love to get different opinions from everyone tell us your thoughts below!
You can find me verbally bouncing around on Twitter here @dldrama
See you next time,